


This simple feeling

by The_time_traveler



Category: Torchwood
Genre: Angst, Eventual Fluff, M/M, Non Graphic, Self Harm, Trans Character, Trans Jack, unsafe binding
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2017-06-11
Updated: 2017-07-31
Packaged: 2018-11-12 15:28:34
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 6
Words: 1,573
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/11164752
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/The_time_traveler/pseuds/The_time_traveler
Summary: The tale of Jack and Ianto post cyber women





	1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

> Hope you enjoy whatever this is

Never before had Jack even properly noticed Ianto in the hub. He just blended into the shadows and ultimately tried not to get noticed so his secret wouldn't escape the confines of the room in which she was trapped...

And yet Jack felt a deep sense of betrayal at the revelation that his employee was lying to him, almost like he was a close friend and confident, and guilt that he clearly wasn't monitoring Ianto nearly closely enough. Realistically, it was clear that something was wrong with him, but Harkness had naively put this down to his shy personality and focused on his own problems.

Empty. Numb and empty. This was all he could feel as he went home that night, with the images of his boss pumping the only thing that really mattered to him full of holes. He has known that she was already gone, that that, that monster was not Lisa any longer, and yet he still clung to the distant hope that she was still inside. Worthless. That's what he told himself he was as he began to forge new scars into the ugly expanse of his stomach. _Click_. "It's Jack." Shit.


	2. Chapter 2

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Italics are Ianto's thoughts, bold is sounds and bold italics are Jack's thoughts

"Shit," he muttered, running over to the broken man and snatching the blade from his shaking hand, "should've got here sooner". At that point Ianto looked up at him for the first time. His eyes were dry, and he looked more lost than upset. "Hey," called Jack softly, "are you okay?". "What do you think?" Came the deadpan reply. "Stay here whilst I get the first aid kit," came the order from the Captain as he disappeared into the kitchen. Jack's touches were gentle and attentive as he cleaned and covered the cuts with dressings and plasters. ' _he has nice hands'_ Ianto noticed absentmindedly as he sat there, fragile and bored. Eventually, Jack finished and clapped his hands together, startling Ianto out of his trance-like state.

__

"Want a cup of tea?" the question was unexpected and it took him a while to formulate a simple 'yes'. The warm liquid slowly brought Ianto back to reality, causing him to momentarily panic, but Jack's firm hand on his back grounded him again.

__

After the tea, they went back into the living room to watch a film for a while (Jack's idea, an attempt to distract him from Lisa and cheer him up again). It seemed to work, Ianto seemed amused by the film (they had eventually decided on deadpool) and was eating a shit-tonne of popcorn, and they both started to relax a little.

__

Jack decided to stay the night to ensure Ianto didn't do anything stupid. This was against his better judgement because he really shouldn't sleep in his binder, but he had to anyway, because to him Ianto's safety was more important than his own, and he would always heal anyway.

__


	3. Chapter 3

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Another shitty-assed chapter lol

' _ **Ouch**_ ' everything hurt. For a brief moment he wondered why, but then he remembered the previous night, wincing a little at Ianto's pain, and slowly inched himself out from Ianto's side.

The pain was caused by the hellish black binder which concealed the disgusting fatty lumps on his chest which only existed because of his immortal state. Before he was miraculously resurrected, it has been almost five years since his double mastectomy and he had been taking testosterone for over six, but all this was soon to be destroyed. With every painful passing, his body was restored to 'factory settings', and so any glimpse of a joyous relationship with his body was cruelly snatched from him. The only way (unbeknownst to Jack) to stop his body from rebelling in this way would be to change everything down to his chromosomes, but the brilliant technology designed to take on this gigantic task wasn't yet invented and his vortex-manipulator was still disabled by the Doctor. This had been a source of depression and even suicide in the past, but by that time he mainly tried to ignore it.

Finally awake, Ianto crept silently down to the kitchen to make coffee, nodding silently at the ex-time agent as he walked past. "Morning, you feeling any better this morning?" Jack asked, managing to disguise his pain. Ianto just shrugged and set two mugs on the side.

After they finished the coffee, Jack declared that he had to go to the hub, but would send Owen down in an hour to check up on him.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Guys are you proud of me I made a chapter over like 10 words lol


	4. Chapter 4

There was a reason Owen dealt with dead bodies and not real people with feelings and Ianto was just starting to figure it out.

"Strip, teaboy," Ianto seemed to tense for a second before slowly removing his shirt, "hurry up, I need to get back to the hub before Jack if I stand any chance of getting any sleep before next week."

Ianto just grinned, "missing my coffee already I see," Owen rolled his eyes and continued his examination, his quick fingers poking and prodding at all available skin for another whole hour.

****************************

"What the fuck do we do with him?" Gwen sounded thoroughly lost and for once nobody else had an answer.

It had been a relatively routine chase, some civilians had disappeared to a rogue weevil and it should have been an easy cleanup, in fact it almost was until the thing had gone for Jack.

The creature had come out of nowhere and had run almost immediately to the nearest target. Having successfully surprised the time agent, who was racked with physical pain from the previous night and emotional pain from watching his team (especially Ianto) suffer, it managed to get a swipe at his chest before it was promptly shot by an angry and haunted Gwen.

Toshiko finally snapped out of her confused gaze to offer up instructions to look after their injured friend and leader as he fell unconscious from the pain. Using the scissors from the first aid kit Owen made them carry round, they carefully snipped away the fabric of his shirt and then his binder, and stopped. And stared.


	5. Chapter 5

"What the fuck?" whispered Gwen with a tone of shock with a hint of disgust as she backed away from the body. By contrast, Tosh had stayed relatively calm; she wore an expression of surprise and doubt but nevertheless continued to work on saving Jack as she ordered Gwen to phone up Owen.

It took less than an hour to stitch Jack back up and get him back to the hub.

Once Jack had come round and realised the events which had occurred in his absence, he quickly dismissed Owen to allow him the time for the awkward conversation he had been dreading with the girls. 

Back home on Boeshane, he was readily supported and his transition didn't hinder his relationships in any way, even though he chose not to physically transition until later, but he understood that earth in the early twenty first century was a much more conservative time and place and so he worried for his acceptance once they knew.

"So you're actually a girl then? Why didn't you just tell us?" Gwen was clearly relatively uneducated on the subject at hand. "Maybe this response is why he didn't tell us?" Toshiko relied with a shrug. Jack cleared his throat to respond, serious for once, "Tosh is pretty much right this time, I was scared of how you'd react. I'm not 'actually a girl', I'm trans.".

Gwen stormed out at that, with a strong feeling of betrayal, considering Jack to have lied to her, but Tosh stayed, quietly patting his shoulder in a gesture of acceptance before he let her go with a wave

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I don't hate Gwen, she will come round eventually, she's just not come into contact with our community yet, everything's new and she doesn't understand


	6. Chapter 6

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Sorry for the wait, writer's block...

Jack was asleep with his head in his hands when Owen arrived, only slightly hungover, the next morning. "You're welcome," came the brash Londoner's voice from the doorway. Jack awoke with a start at this, "for what, getting out of bed?", he taunted back, his voice rough from sleep. "Gwen came round to mine after work, ranting about your gender identity. I managed to bring her round to accepting you, although her outing you was kind of a dick move," Owen's reply was, for once, serious and caring, and took Jack by surprise.

"Thanks Owen, even if your acceptance is just to shut up Gwen and to try to make her have sex with you..." Owen clutched his heart with mock pain at this, "you doubt me so, Jack, just didn't want to hear the slurs and anyway, this community has to stick tog.." he stopped at the realisation he'd just outed himself and Jack shook his shoulder gently and walked off to his office to get his things.

3 WEEKS LATER

"Hello," called Jack, padding quietly into the living room, "hi," came the reply from the living room. It had now been a month since Lisa's death, and Ianto was almost mentally healed enough to return to the hub. In that time Jack and Ianto had formed a close but platonic bond, though by that point Jack's less platonic feelings were undeniable, even to himself, though he kept them strictly hidden from Ianto, so as not to scare him off.

"Since you're going back to work tomorrow, there's something I need to tell you," Jack gave off a distinct aura of nervousness as he flopped onto the sofa next to his employee and began wringing his hands. Sensing his nervousness, Ianto carefully placed his hand on Jack's shoulder, "Ianto, I'm transgender."

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Yeah, trans Owen, whoops, I couldn't help it

**Author's Note:**

> I cannot guarantee regular updates at all but if you wanna see more write a comment and I'll remember.


End file.
